Procrastination on a Decision to be a Freelance Writer

Love of writing started at a very young age. I used to grab a paper and jot down whatever I think of  no matter where I am; riding home in a Jeepney, in the middle of class, even during meals. Poems were my passion, they wake  all the creative juices that I need to make the words come alive on paper. I use poetry to woo and flatter the people in my life. The stronger my feelings are for a person, the better the content of what I write. I used to look at the people I see everyday and imagine what their life is like. I see a father and daughter eating ice cream and I will weave a story in my mind of how the mom left them, the dad is juggling a full time job and struggling to find time to spend with his daughter. Or look at a street vendor and imagine the scene at his home when he gets home after a day of walking the street selling his wares. His wife’s face will light up with happiness when she sees him, grateful that he was once again home safe. She will prepare a simple meal and ask about his day like he is dealing with corporate takeovers everyday and how in her eyes, he is still the prince she fell in love with.

Then life happened. Gone were the happy go lucky days when all I think about is what to write. I got pregnant and I have to look out for a family of my own; have to think about earning a living with a nine to five job, put food on the table and make sure my daughter grows up with the proper care she deserves. I left the joys of pen and paper and devoted my time to overtime and learning how to be patient with frustrated customers who are on the other end of the line asking for my help. For a very long time, I forgot the joys and contentment that putting words on paper brings. The nights were eaten up with the demands of the job and the days with trying to be as near to a  perfect single mother as I could get. Eventually I got married, had another child and this provided me with yet another excuse not to pursue full time creative writing. The inspiration never left me, I used it to build rapport with customers on the phone. A single encouraging word will give me the go signal to engage them and it is gratifying that more often than not, a conversation will begin with a frustrated person on the other line and end up with us almost on the brink of friendship.

Before I knew it, my kids are no longer babies. They don’t demand as much of my time anymore and I found myself having a lot of free time playing games on Facebook. I wanted to write again but I’m very scared that the talent to string words together has left me and that no one will be interested in what I have to say. But the urge to write cannot be denied so I said goodbye to my games and searched the internet for materials that will help me renew the passion, my love affair with words. And so here I am…a freelance writer.

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